All right, listen up. You're about to read some information that you may one day wish you never had learned. If you're one of those people, consider this paragraph your last warning.
Don't ask me how I did this. I'm a former Navy SEAL and I've participated in a few paramilitary actions, but I'm no homo. And anyway, I managed to get access to Republican political operative Karl Rove's online diary. Just don't ask. Just be grateful I have the connections I have.