Friday, November 7, 2008

GOP Butthurt All-Stars Tour '08: Cuntry First!!!1!

You know how all the rickrollin' d-bags from the just-current season of American Idol each summer have a baby with Ticketmaster at the prom and then abandon it at mid-sized arenas and state fairs around the country? Good news! The Republican party is about to do the same in Georgia!

Sen. Saxxxby Shambli$$* is in a run-off with this dude called Jim Martin, and guess what! Saxxxby's got lined up the greatest hits to come stump for him over the next three weeks: Jamakain, Mittens Romney, Rudy 9ui11iani, F*ckabee, and (maybe! oh, if only we can clap loud enough!) Governor Mooselini herself! Oh, and that asshole Newt, for the 90s nostaligia, or whatever.

*Yes, that is his real name, and here's the Cliff Notes: Saxxxby loves him some war-on-terraporn, and he's a ridiculously-monikered queef from the obvious terroristic target-hot-spot of Moultrie. He also got a shitload of Vietnam deferments for gimpy knees from playing football that have now (PRAISE JEEBUS!) been healed so that he may count jogging as a favorite form of recreation.