Orange County, CA's Terence Carey believes that marriage is specifically and only a union between a man and a woman. Statistically speaking, Carey - who is a staunch supporter of California's Proposition 8 - is a toilethomo.
This is not libel. It is a scientific conclusion, based on my anecdotal research into the furtive habits of socially conservative scolds. Simply put, my theorem is this: If you seek to legislate morality, you will eventually be discovered down on your scabby knees, gargling semen in a public toilet. I'm sorry, Terence. The numbers don't lie.