Tuesday, December 23, 2008

"How high's the [snowman], momma? / [16 ft.] and rising"

Anchorage, Alaska, is a kinda like if Reykjavik, Iceland, were to become a huge tweaker with a ginormous gun collection. But you know what? That's not always a bad thing, because does Reykjavik have a Snowzilla? HELL NO! That is some Grade-A USDA awesomeness right there... until the city of Anchorage killed Snowzilla on Sunday.

BUT TAKE NOTE, HATERS! "For lo, there were in the same city pranksters abiding in the street, keeping watch over their shovels by night, and the glory of the Lord shone 'round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, I bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto to you is born this day in the city of big wild life a big-ass snowman, which is totally awesome."

Snowzilla is totally like Christmas and Easter rolled into one, which surely means double the chocolate, and likely makes ol' Ratzy butthurt about some imagined something on account of his Prada loafers being too tight.