Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Joe Scarborough is the Ben Lyons of politics

Or maybe he's Pinky, and Zbigniew Brzezinski is the Brain. Either way, it's game, set, pwnage when Joe debates Dr. B

The (Polish) joke's on you, Joe!

Slow Cook

Dane Cook is to the art of stand-up comedy as Charles Manson is to the Labianca family. So it is with great pleasure that I read TMZ's report that the fratty douchewad's own brother has been ripping him off for years.

Of course, the bad news is he'll probably have to tour again to recoup his losses. Why can't he just die?

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Funniest. Headline. EVAR!

Mad props to Karl Rove for lulz in the Wall Street Journal:

Bush Is a Book Lover

Who are you all of a sudden, Mr. Funny? This is hilarious!
"In the 35 years I've known George W. Bush, he's always had a book nearby. He plays up being a good ol' boy from Midland, Texas, but he was a history major at Yale and graduated from Harvard Business School. You don't make it through either unless you are a reader."
Or, you know, you belong to an incalculably wealthy dynasty of baby-raping secret society creeps.

And they'll know we are Christians by our... what, exactly?

If you're going to make racist jokes, they had better be really, really funny. Chip Saltsman, your shipment of FAIL has arrived.

Or has it? In a development that should be more surprising than it is, Republicans are rallying around this terminally un-funny douchetruck: “When I found out what this was about I had to ask, ‘Boy, what’s the big deal here?’" says Maine GOP chairman Mark Ellis. Who you calling "boy," Mark?

And Paul Reynolds of the Alabama Republican Committee thinks Saltsman "was doing everyone a favor... This is just people looking for something to make an issue of."

And Saltsman's old boss, Mike Huckabee, says "no one who knows him would ever suggest that he in any way would purposely disparage other people." Except he did.

It's not a cross burning, it's a cross lighting! Can't we all just get along?

Monday, December 29, 2008

Not all guys named Gore are smart

The Conservative Outpost's big giant Drew McKissick is almost always wrong about everything. But at least you can follow the logic of his arguments. Drew's colleague Gary Gore, by contrast, is just bonkers.

Noting the trend among print and broadcast news organizations to scale back their Iraq war coverage - due in part to the expense of maintaining overseas bureaus - Gary babbles:
Ironic, how that sluggish economy excuse can be noted for the lack of coverage in Iraq military victory. Aren't these the same networks that have been trying to pin the "Recession" label on President Bush for, seemingly, the last 4 years now?

Okay, so reporting that the economy is a factor in a network's decision to scale back war coverage obviates the argument that Bush is responsible for said fucked economy... how, exactly?

I miss you, Drew.

Biblical knowledge

President-elect Barack Obama will swear his oath of office on the same Bible that Abraham Lincoln used in 1861.

Outgoing President Bush will take his family Bible home with him to Crawford, TX:

Sigh... the end of an era

The Associated Press reports that the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport men's room, site of Sen. Larry "Toilethomo" Craig's famous tryst, is no longer the popular tourist destination it once was.

I'm gonna take it down a little, with the sweetly melancholy song stylings of Ms. Barbara Streisand.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

A suspicious package of links

Book early at the Marihuana restaurant (Weird Asia News)
Bambi II looks pretty badass (Holy Taco)
Coming soon... to Palm Springs (io9)
Make your Guru Nanak's Day reservations now! (Mental Floss)
Oh crap! It's Kaisersaurus! (Monster Brains)

Holy freaking crap!

Nazis on the damn MOON? How did I not know about this?

Friday, December 26, 2008

Benny has brass ones

When you're head of an organization with a rep like the Vatican's, you probably shouldn't bring up the subject of children very often. I bet their marketing guy was all, "Hey, fab Urbi et Orbi address, Poperino. If I could offer just one note, it would be, ix-nay on the ids-kay."

But Ratzo? He so don't care. Controversy, schmontroversy. He's like Sam Kinison in a pretty, pretty dress: 

His Holy Moliness's voice then trailed off, and he got a faraway look in his eyes, as the faithful in St. Peter's Square grew increasingly uncomfortable. 

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Dude! Harsh!

Santa Cruz, CA is one of the coolest, weirdest little towns in America. It's crawling with sunny, sweet-natured screwballs who couldn't give a wet slap about personal enrichment.

As well as wads like Ryan Rittenhouse. 

Ryan is the grandson of a founding member of the Santa Cruz Surfing Club. Among its laudable eleemosynary efforts, the club helps keep the city's Surfing Museum in the black. 

The museum is now in danger of closure, and the club wants to help out with a t-shirt sale.

The problem? Ryan trademarked the club logo and photos two years ago. He does a brisk trade in t-shirts, board shorts and other items bearing the intellectual property of a club to which he contributed nothing. The percentage of the profits going to enrich anybody but Ryan Rittenhouse? Zero. 

This is mondo lame.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

"How high's the [snowman], momma? / [16 ft.] and rising"

Anchorage, Alaska, is a kinda like if Reykjavik, Iceland, were to become a huge tweaker with a ginormous gun collection. But you know what? That's not always a bad thing, because does Reykjavik have a Snowzilla? HELL NO! That is some Grade-A USDA awesomeness right there... until the city of Anchorage killed Snowzilla on Sunday.

BUT TAKE NOTE, HATERS! "For lo, there were in the same city pranksters abiding in the street, keeping watch over their shovels by night, and the glory of the Lord shone 'round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, I bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto to you is born this day in the city of big wild life a big-ass snowman, which is totally awesome."

Snowzilla is totally like Christmas and Easter rolled into one, which surely means double the chocolate, and likely makes ol' Ratzy butthurt about some imagined something on account of his Prada loafers being too tight.

I am a very, very, very insensitive man

But even I would have taken, like, five minutes to brainstorm some alternate names for this "Monkey Man" action figure.

Well I'll be darned! George W. Bush actually helped stimulate the economy

Okay, it's the Turkish economy, but still. Who'd've thought it?

Shoe Hurled at Bush Flies Off Turkish Maker’s Shelves (Bloomberg News)

Monday, December 22, 2008

Susie Bright gets it

Author, editor and provocateuse Susie Bright has been guest-blogging at Boing Boing lately. Assessing the Rick Warren mess, the lady sees all the earmarks of a textbook toilethomo:
If this dude isn't found in a bathroom with a wide stance and a hooker in the next year, someone's not doing their job.
Anybody want to start a pool?

Guac Lockdown

I'm posting this because it's hilarious, the guys who made it are friends of mine, and I'm a colossal link whore. Enjoy!

Mr. Unpopularity

Gert and Irving's baby boy is coasting through his final days at the New York Times with predictable horseshit like this valentine to Dick Cheney. Of VP Voldemort's exit interview with Chris Wallace on Fox News Sunday, he says:
No spin. No doubletalk. A cogent defense of his action — and one that shows a well-considered sense of justice... Indeed, if justice is seeking to give each his due, one might say that Dick Cheney aspires to being a just man. And a thoughtful one, because he knows that justice is sometimes too harsh, and should be tempered by civility.

Did you swallow, Bill? Or did Cheney pull out and finish on your face?

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Merry Christmas Sarah Palin

It's always a treat when my buddy Ed sends me something from YouTube:
This YT poster has a collection of vids about Sarah Palin (whom she loves), Jeffrey Dahmer (fascinated by), George Carlin (how'd he get in here?), and she has made several comp-videos of Sharon Tate pics set to old popular songs. She is glad Susan Atkins wasn't granted parole, she wants her to rot in hell -- she's also a criminal justice student. She also makes tribute videos to a singer named Sharon Den Adel and her professor who is also named Sharon.

Her beautiful, snow-flecked Merry Xmas msg to Sarah Palin has this note attached. I hope her criminal justice classes are going well.
Just want to say Merry Christmas to Sarah Palin and her family.
Wishing you the best for you and your family.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Starr's out to fight

Kenneth Starr is lead counsel in the legal fight to void California's 18,000 same-sex marriages. 
Yup, the guy responsible for publishing pornography on the government's dime.

Dave says it better than I could: 
I don’t know the details of his personal life, but I am certain of this: on the average day, Kenneth Starr thinks about dicks ten times more than I do.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Oh, for crap's sake

I don't give a rat's ass what happens to most people in this world, but you'd better not let me catch you harming an animal. Yeah, it's weird. Blow me.

Pennsylvania SPCA officers found some sick freak selling "gothic kittens" - with ear, neck and tail piercings - out of her home.

Why are people so fucked up? And may I hit them?

[Black Metal Kittens via LinerNotes]

Creepy Santa

I'm sure I'm not the only one freaked out by Palm and Sprint's new ad campaign. Is that Glenn Close dressed as a guy?

Christmas is ruined.

Regarding Fatty

Anybody who's not a fucking bigot is royally pissed about Pastor Fatty's inclusion in Barack Obama's inauguration ceremony. But Tony Perkins couldn't be happier, urging Fatty to stand firm against "the homosexual desire to silence the Church."

No, not that Tony Perkins, stupid. I'm talking about the queef in charge of the Family Research Council. He's one of those alleged heterosexuals who spends a suspicious amount of time thinking about what teh gheys get up to behind closed doors.

[Thanks, Jeremy!]

Thursday, December 18, 2008

The Great White North, emphasis on the "white"

I bet you thought Alaskans were just a bunch of idiots. But guess what? They're also racists!

State workers have been trading racist jokes about Barack Obama and his family, using their government email accounts. I guess there are some things you don't trust to Yahoo, huh?

A hot, thick slice of link loaf

The Great Monkey Rebellion has begun! (Telegraph)
Matty got drunk and hit on a Playboy model (Bush League)
Santa's a Hippie (WFMU)
I love BSG. Shut up (io9)
Oh fuck! It's Gas-House McGinty! (Pulp of the Day)
Faith Nelson has big things ahead of her (Holy Taco)
Casey is cheap (Modern Hiker)
Miss World is dumb and smells like cabbage (English Russia)
It's watching you! (Today and Tomorrow)
This dude gets paid to fly a blimp! (Blimpin' Ain't Easy)

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Loaded with what, now?

This has nothing to do with anything, except I'm a big fan of this blog Disgrasian. That, and I'm basically retarded. So when the good ladies at Disgrasian posted an item about the outgoing Miss Universe being "loaded with duty," I snorfed water out my nose.

I would like to apologize to everybody who had a hand in raising and educating me. I'm not your fault.

Your comments are welcome

Bush: "I'm open to suggestions on what to do when I'm out of office."

Fuckin' in the wrong place

The F word is a powerful, beautiful thing when it is properly applied. It owes its impact as much to euphony as to its shock value. Bless you, University of Edinburgh Professor Geoffrey K. Pullum, for acknowledging this.

In a recent Language Log post, the great Scot dubbed Illinois' embattled governor "Rod Blagofuckinjevich." The waggish allusion to Blago's colorful vocabulary elicits a chuckle, sure. But that's murder to pronounce.

In the best scholarly tradition, Prof. Pullum revisited his own work, and concluded, "I put the insultingly inserted expletive into his name in the wrong place."

Thanks for the update, Prof! So, where the fuck would you put it?

[Great fuckin' blog, Mr. Sullivan!]

Well, well, well!

Somebody's been to sexy school!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

The B word

If you like 'em fat and stupid, then does Ryan Seacrest have a reality show for you! Say hello to Khalood Bojanowski of Momma's Boys, premiering tonight on NBC. Tragically born with an extra ass chromosome, "Mrs. B" is also a casually overt racist:

To be fair, Seacrest expressed reservations about airing some of Mrs. B's more inflammatory remarks. I find his judgment admirable and his candor refreshing, and this has nothing to do with the fact that he could probably have me fired.

[hat-tip to Disgrasian]

Monday, December 15, 2008

Ain't No Thang But a Chicken Wang

Meet Hansi, a nudist farmer from Germany and reality TV superstar. And guess what! On last week's episode, this crazy mofo decided to do his own chicken fingering:
"The 71-year-old contestant on the fourth series of Germany's hit TV show ‘Bauer sucht Frau’ (‘Farmer wants a Wife’) was seen sexually stimulating his chickens with his finger. In a shocking series finale, he told his chosen partner, blonde Marianne (66) from Hamburg, 'this is how they get an orgasm'."
Ladies, take a number!

Rick Warren: Open mouth, insert ham

Beliefnet's Steven Waldman interviewed Saddleback Church's moist and gigantic pastor Rick Warren recently. Warren, seen here attempting to eat President-elect Barack Obama, was typically quick to draw a line from gay marriage to incest and pedophilia:

"The issue to me, I’m not opposed to that as much as I’m opposed to redefinition of a 5,000 year definition of marriage. I’m opposed to having a brother and sister being together and calling that marriage. I’m opposed to an older guy marrying a child and calling that marriage."
Gee, he must think gay people are a sick bunch of freaks. I bet there's nothing anybody could say or do to make him accept them as normal human beings.

Oh wait! Yeah there is: "I’ve eaten dinner in gay homes."

AH HA HA HA HA HA! Pastor Fatty loves cake more than Jebus!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

The Vitter end?

Senator David "I Heart Whores" Vitter (R-LA) is one of several GOP Southerners who helped scuttle a proposed aid package for the troubled U.S. auto industry. Vitter's stance on the issue puzzles at least one of his constituents. Morgan Johnson, head of the United Auto Workers local for a General Motors plant in Shreveport, LA, wonders aloud
"I don't know what Sen. Vitter has against GM or the United Auto Workers or the entire domestic auto industry; whatever it is, whatever he thinks we've done, it's time for him to forgive us, just like Sen. Vitter has asked the citizens of Louisiana to forgive him, " said Johnson, president of Local 2166. Otherwise, Johnson said of Vitter, it would appear, "He'd rather pay a prostitute than pay auto workers."

The expression you're looking for is, "Oh, snap!"

Vitter last made headlines - aside from the whore thing - when he and Larry Toilethomo Craig co-sponsored a failed "Protection of Marriage" amendment to the U.S. Constitution. 

I have elsewhere in this blog advanced the theory that guys who go out of their way to suppress the rights of openly gay people are actually self-hating cock-gobblers. But here Vitter goes and shows me just how narrow-minded I am - he hired female prostitutes. Once again, I am struck by the vibrant, inclusive spirit of today's Republican party. 

Thursday, December 11, 2008

We link, because we love

Oh crap! The Japanese can photograph your thoughts! 
Death by bacon! (Holy Taco)
Not for the squeamish (Street Boners and TV Carnage)
That's right, I said, "custom squirrels" (J Walk)
Forget About Everything. And see that you do. (Vimeo)
The Dark Knight's day job (G4)
What's worse than Krampus? You don't wanna know! 
Warning: This Corvette ad may make you want to kill somebody (Sunday Onanism)
George W. Bush's common-sense new drug plan 
Dang, who knew Frankenstein had such a sweet tush? 

Get Your Hair Doing Time

All this Blago in the news is making me nostalgic for the epic stylings of Jim Traficant, another corrupt-- albeit devastatingly stylish-- Rust Belt politician.

And, really? Blago could never beat homegirl on the hair, let alone the threads. I mean, seriously; Jim Traficant was a bit like Congress' own version of Khia, what with his follicular mastery. Truly a lost artform nowadays.

"Oh, hi Mom! Heh, heh... yeah, funny story about that..."

Illinois Gov. Rod Blagovivicohicohch said he told his mother, "I'll never take bribes. Not only is that dishonest, it would be illegal."

Dude, you are so grounded

The Bonertown Trolley is now leaving the station!

Toot! Toot!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Jeffrey Hirsch can go eat a bowl of fuck

Here are some things I love about Los Angeles:
Abundant sunshine
Wonderful Mexican food

Here is one thing I hate about Los Angeles:
Jeffrey Hirsch

Hirsch is president of Time Warner Cable's Los Angeles Metro division, and he is very, very, very bad at his job. I don't know if he's just drunk all the time, or too busy beating off to tranny scat porn to worry about the quality of service his company offers. Either way, he sucks. LA Snark agrees with me

Well, about the cable service, anyway. I couldn't get a read on them regarding the tranny scat porn. But I'm probably right. 

Evidentally, Patsy Blagojwefljnwlefnlkasflkdsjvich is a White Sox Fan

It is obviously Duhsville by this point that Gov. "Hot" Rod Blagojevich (D-Illanoize) is the mutant hybrid of Fat Elvis and the circa-Baretta Robert Blake. But where's teh luv for his Amy-Fisher-lookalike old lady, Patricia? The Chicago Tribune suggests that this bitch will totes cut you, especially if you're affiliated with the Cubbies and flat broke and looking for the state to help you unload Wrigley Field.
"Hold up that [expletive] Cubs [expletive]," she is quoted as saying in the background as her husband talked on the phone, authorities alleged. "[Expletive] them."
Now that right there is a curse. Several, in fact.

I have a question for Mike Huckabee

He is fighting to protect traditional marriage. But what on Earth did he have to fuck to produce these two mouth-breathing doughbeasts? The female child looks almost normal. She should get as far away from that family as possible while she still has half a shot at a regular life.

I bet that dog has PTSD. And the King Charles spaniel isn't looking too good, either. HEYO!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

All the news that's fat to print

Drew McKissick's colossal panties are in a bunch over the liberal conspiracy to bury the Blagojevich story:

"And there are some real questions to be answered here. Like, did any of Obama's advisors know what Blago was doing...and/or "negotiate" with him? What did Barack know, and when did he know it?

Enquiring minds want to know."

Okay, first off, Gargantua, Obama is on record in regard to the matter. He refused to deal with Blagojevich. Not even the clinically kooky Washington Times could draw a line from the President-elect to this mess.

And second... "Enquiring minds want to know?" Seriously, Jiggles? Did you go to journalism school with Brenda Starr?

Hey, here's a riddle!

Why is the bible like a penis?

They both get shoved down your throat by a priest, LOL!

[Thanks, Jason!]

Monday, December 8, 2008

Stephen Johnson is still an asshole, but at least now I understand why

Have you ever wondered why the director of the Environmental Protection Agency has spent less time, you know, protecting the environment than he has with corporate lobbyists' cocks in his mouth

In a Philadelphia Inquirer profile, outgoing EPA head Stephen Johnson says there is no "clean-cut division" between religion and science: "If you have studied at all creationism vs. evolution, there’s theistic or God-controlled evolution and there’s variations on all those themes."

"Theistic evolution?" Yup. That's part of the core curriculum at Taylor University, a "Christ-centered educational institution and an evangelical, interdenominational covenant community." Which is bullshit for "fundamentalist cow college." 

The director of the Environmental Protection Agency got his bachelor's - bachelor's! - degree in biology from a college where they teach that the earth is 6,000 years old and Jesus had a pet dinosaur. 

Of course this guy doesn't give a rat's ass about the environment. He thinks he's going to be Raptured out of this dump before the oceans can rise another millimeter. 

Saints Row 2 - now available in Japan!

Play any Saints Row 2? Then you're aware that it doesn't promote the most positive of ethnic stereotypes. But wow, Japan, what's up with these commercials?

Wow. You no rikey brack people, huh?

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Karl Rove is writing a book, and we're all gonna be in it!

Think Progress reports that Karl Rove is planning to "name names of Bush haters in his new book."

Bush haters? Hey, that's us! 
“I’ve got behind-the-scenes episodes that are going to show how unreceiving they were of this man as president of the United States,” Rove said, adding: “I’m going to name names and show examples.”
Just then, a friendly baker entered the room and gently punched Rove's head down, reshaped it, and set it aside for a second rise.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

George W. Bush, steward of the environment, ctd.

The Environmental News Service reports that the nowhere-near-quickly-enough outgoing Bush Administration has just overturned a 25-year-old ban on carrying concealed, loaded weapons in American national parks and wildlife refuges:

"The new rule was approved despite concerns raised by every living former director of the National Park Service, several ranger organizations, retired superintendents, and thousands of national park visitors."
The President and his buddies then shoved an M80 up a bear's asshole and lit it.

Friday, December 5, 2008

This news item was summoned into existence by the collective longing of all the world's mangy old perverts

Underage naked cheerleaders in trouble!

[How ya doin', CSPAN Junkie?]

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Maybe She's a Diabetic Because She Hates Brown Sugar

Nicole Johnson is some lulzy old beauty queen, or some shit. Anyway, she's scheduled to judge next month's Miss America Pageant, except C-SPAN has some video of her from back in the day with her prissily "not smiling upon" interracial dating:
"Johnson replied, 'Well, I personally wouldn't interracially date. But that doesn't mean that I would frown upon someone else, because I think that we all... we live in a country of freedom. And we all have the freedom to choose whatever we want to follow in our lives and we have to respect that in each other. But, umm, I wouldn't smile upon that in my life or the life of individuals in my family.'"
Yes, Virginia, she is a bigot.

I have a new hero

And his name is Tycho Brahe. He kept an alcoholic moose as a pet, and would force dinner guests to sit in complete silence while his clairvoyant dwarf made predictions.

Is it possible to be in love with a noseless man from the 16th century?

[Thanks, Jedd!]

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Anti-Semitism 101 with Jonah Goldberg

Sweaty, tubby National Review Online contributor Jonah Goldberg popped up predictably on Hannity and Colmes last night. The wheezing bag of type 2 diabetes, who owes what he calls a career to his shameless hustler of a mother, appeared in support of his latest National Review Online column
Arguing that ads in protest of California's Prop 8 - which rescinded the constitutionally guaranteed rights of gay couples in the state to marry - unfairly singled out Mormons for retribution in the wake of the measure's passage, Goldberg the Lesser bleated that people of other faiths had also supported it. 

Set aside for the moment the fact that the Cult of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints contributed disproportionately to Prop 8's passage - $22 million, by conservative estimates. What killed me, and what evaded chunky papist Hannity's notice, was Goldberg's characterization of Jews. Citing a commercial in which Mormon weirdos are depicted raiding a lesbian couple's house, stripping them of their wedding rings and shredding their marriage license, Goldberg hypothesized an alternate version of the ad: "Imagine a commercial that featured two Jewish guys at the door... You know, hook-nosed and slimy-looking."

I'm not saying, across the board, that ethnic slurs are bad. I ask only that you show a little creativity. 

We're all going to die in a horrible nuclear or biological terrorist attack by 2013!

OMG! Hold me! I'm scared! From the AP:

"The United States can expect a terrorist attack using nuclear or more likely biological weapons before 2013, reports a bipartisan commission in a study being briefed Tuesday to Vice President-elect Joe Biden."

And there's more! The report "acknowledges that terrorist groups still lack the needed scientific and technical ability to make weapons out of pathogens or nuclear bombs. But it warns that gap can be easily overcome, if terrorists find scientists willing to share or sell their know-how."

In other news, satellites are in grave danger of instantaneous destruction by my laser penis. I don't currently have a laser penis, but that gap can easily be overcome when a mad scientist finally answers my Craigslist ad.

And in publishing news...

Michael Wolff's biography of Rupert Murdoch, The Man Who Owns The News, is available now.
In a related story, Wolff is Nosferatu.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Papal bullshit

The Vatican opposes a United Nations resolution calling on member states to de-criminalize homosexuality.

The gaudy wop tourist trap, which for some reason has a permanent U.N. representative, argues that the resolution would "add new categories of those protected from discrimination." Oh yeah, God forbid you shield anybody from unfair treatment.

Catholics regard homosexuality as a sin, unless it is performed by a priest with a terrified child. A leading Italian gay rights activist says that the Vatican's decision - I'm paraphrasing here - is fucking retarded.

"The French resolution, which is supported by all 27 members of the European Union, has nothing to do with gay marriage," activist Franco Grillini tells Reuters. "It is about stopping jail and the death penalty for homosexuals."

When reached for comment, Pope Benedict XVI said, "Oooh! Listen to her!" and then skipped away giggling with some other old men in long dresses and red Prada loafers.

George W. Bush's painful 9-inch ball

Laura Bush invited members of Congress to ask local artists in their constituencies for help decorating the White House Christmas tree. She probably had some lame Thomas Kincaid hacks in mind. Instead she got a swirly spheroid of hate.

Washington state artist Deborah Lawrence drew visual inspiration from her Congressman, Jim McDermott. In between the candy-apple red stripes on her ornament, Lawrence applied strips of text praising McDermott's support for a resolution to impeach Bush.

To her credit, Laura Bush accepted the ornament and invited the artist to attend a White House reception. Is it a Christmas miracle? Or is it the Xanax talking?

Monday, December 1, 2008

Medal peddler

Who is Rick Warren, and why is he giving George W. Bush, of all people, something called the International Medal of PEACE?

Warren is the husky hustler behind Saddleback Church, a non-denominational mega-theo-plex where John McCain and Barack Obama were somehow obliged to come cap in hand and dance for the evangelical screwball vote

When Pastor Rick says "peace," he doesn't mean an absence of war, or a freedom from civil disturbance, or any other definition that a normal rational person would employ. PEACE is an acronym - kinda like USA PATRIOT is an acronym. And it's not even a very good one. The "P" stands for "promoting reconciliation." 

I can't even be bothered to type what the "EACE" means. Warren deserves a kick in his fat ass for working this hillbilly religious con into political discourse, and Bush deserves a fucking prison cell.

Great! Pick up a broom

In an interview with ABC's Charles Gibson, President Bush says he will reach out to incoming Barack Obama:
"One of my parting words to him will be: 'If I can help you, let me know,'" Bush said.