Can you believe this crap? Comedy Central is roasting Larry the Cable Guy. I would rather - hear me, ye gods! - I would rather shoot myself in the penis than ever see or hear this pandering, faux-blue-collar fucktard's insultingly un-funny act again. The only roasting anybody should ever do to this twunt involves actual flame.
Meanwhile, you know who'd make a great Man of the Hour? Don Rickles. He has to be 127 years old, but he's as sharp as ever. If Mr. Warmth doesn't make you laugh, you'd better check your pulse.
But my pal Gerry has it on good authority that Comedy Central won't roast Rickles because they don't think anybody cares about him anymore. So this is what we get instead?
How many more insults to our intelligence are we expected to bear? I say we draw the line here. Join me in demanding that Comedy Central air a prime-time special honoring this national treasure. Extra credit if they apologize for the Larry the Cable Guy thing.