5. Michelle Bachmann, House of Representatives (R-MN)
On her dead-ender political role:
4. George Lambus, candidate (R) for Mayor of Jackson, MS
"Crime can only be alleviated by a noose and a stout tree limb. I will provide the noose."
3. Alan Dershowitz, Ambulance Chaser
Defending John Yoo's position on torture:
"I want maximal pain, minimum lethality. You don’t want it to be permanent, you don’t want someone to be walking with a limp, but you want to cause the most excruciating, intense, immediate pain. Now, I didn’t want to write about testicles, but that’s what a lot of people use."
2. Robert Bowie Johnson, Jr., Wackadoo
Exposing the secret Obama/Oprah conspiracy:
"Barack Obama’s connections to Oprah Winfrey and her New Age guru, Eckhart Tolle, are the least examined, yet most revealing, and by far the most potentially ruinous of the senator’s nefarious associations."
1. Megyn Kelly, Fox News telebunny
Asking an ACORN spokesman, "You're going to send child rapists out to conduct the census?"