Back in my day, you sure-as-hell kept your cringe-worthy fangirldom strictly in a diary.
Nowadays, the kids set their paeans to quite possibly the worst books published in the last 25 years to an even blander beat and call themselves "The Bella Cullen Project."
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Yeah, well you ain't heard nothing yet. Wait until my Nicholas Sparks-inspired ska bad sets the world ablaze. Cover art by Thomas "Painter of Shite™" Kinkade, natch.
Google the phrase "Twilight moms" and enter a whole new world of BARF.
Oh, Johnny, you always introduce new toxins to my eyes and mind. Now, for instance, I know about the "New Moon Corn Maze" in Utah.
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