The Hate Bureau is not in the practice of offering political endorsements. As a rule, we remain serenely above the fray. We offer only commentary. Insight. Jokes about fat people.
But never have we encountered a public servant who so clearly embodied the ideals of his party as we have now. And it is for this reason that we must break with ancient tradition and say that we support Jim Bunning for the 2012 Republican Presidential nomination.
Bunning bravely skipped a Christmas Eve procedural vote on the Senate health care reform bill. He has eschewed the vulgar spectacles of democracy 21 times this month - once more often than 92-year-old Senator Robert Byrd (D-WV), who battles chronic flatulence.
This is what makes Bunning the ideal Republican candidate: He's a rich, lazy, white prick in a job for which he's laughably unqualified, and which he treats with contempt.