Blarg blarg health blarg blarg fitness blarg blarg

So, you know how millions of Muricans die every year from complications related to being indolent, gluttonous, chain-smoking fucktards? Would you say that's a good thing? Probably not - you may know or even be one of those fucktards. But when the Kenyan Muslin Trotskyite Tsarist Socialist Usurper signs a meaningless piece of paper establishing National Prevention and Health Promotion Blah Blah Blah, it's a Very. Bad. Thing. Indeed!

Among the Council's responsibilities will be the publication of an annual report that:

contains a list of national priorities on health promotion and disease prevention to address lifestyle behavior modification (including smoking cessation, proper nutrition, appropriate exercise, mental health, behavioral health, substance-use disorder, and domestic violence screenings) and the prevention measures for the five leading disease killers in the United States

But to hear the Libertarian rugged fat chain-smoking individualists at InfoWars tell it, "President Obama has truly gone off the deep end this time in his most atrocious attempt to date to control every aspect of Americans’ lives."

See, this is why I can't take the Teabaggers seriously: Every fucking move the White House makes is a cynical Illuminati Bilderberger New World Order plot to enslave Americans. If they ever do find themselves with a rational point to make, no rational person will hear it.

Nobody is challenging your right to eat and drink yourself into an early grave. But is the occasional common-sense reminder to eat a fucking apple and walk around the block a threat to the very underpinnings of a free society?