Church sex abuse, herp de durr

Yeah, so, one of the Pope's advisors, charged with investigating pedophilia charges, has been popped for, oh, QED. It's as unsurprising as it is sickening.

But somebody at TIME seems to have had some fun with the placement of this internal link in the story:

BREAKING

So this choad, Patrick McHenry (R-NC) got hisself some airtime the other day by basically accusing Elizabeth Warren of lying to his subcommittee.

Now, I don't mean to boast, but I've been on the toilethomo beat long enough that something struck me. It's not just the southern accent, although that does still sound really faggy to my New York ears. No, it was something more sutble. A combination of prissiness and self-righteousness and, well, general cuntiness that made me think.... is he?

So I looked up McHenry's voting record. Yup, pretty solidly anti-gay.

Then I found some old news items about him. It seems that until recently, he received late-night visits from a 24-year-old male law student.

And apparently I'm not the only journalist who smells dick on this guy's breath from a mile off.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's getting married. So did Rock Hudson

Ladies and gentlemen, the preponderance of evidence indicates that Patrick McHenry is a TOILETHOMO

Bradlee Dean: Toilethomo?

Is it glib and facile to assume that all anti-gay moral scolds are toilethomos? Perhaps.
But the numbers. Don't. Lie.

Which is why Bradlee Dean is on our radar. He caused a brief stir recently, offering an assheaded, mean, stupid and insulting prayer before the Minnesota state house.

Dean also wastes no opportunity to publicly denigrate gay people, even suggesting that they should be incarcerated. He's even been known to bust out the occasional twofer, combining his anti-gay animus with his hatred of Muslims.

Yet even with this preponderance of statistical and anecdotal evidence indicating that Dean lives a toilethomo's furtive double life of restroom cocksuckery, we hesitated to render a judgement.

Until Dean tweeted this:

Thank you and good night.

Keep in in yer pants, boys!

We've all seen the photo of the White House Situation Room, where the President shows his cabinet Joe Biden's tight, sculpted abs. It's also where top national security officials watched a live video feed of Navy SEALs busting a cap in Osama Bin Laden's grill.

Well, most of us saw that photo. Readers of Der Tzitung, a newspaper that serves New York's sexy Hasidic community, saw an altered version. Editors removed Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and National Security Council Counterterrorism Director Audrey Tomason from the pic, fearing that their presence was "too suggestive."

You GO Hillary! Gurlfriend's still got it. Rrrrrrrowrrrrr.

Stupid bitch is stupid, a bitch

Shit-For-Brains demands free government snuff porn:

Tell you what, Funbags: Obama will release the Bin Laden photos after you show the world your medical records. You know, the ones that prove Trig is your grandson.

No? Didn't think so. Shut it.

Was it something I said?

Today, the rest of the world marked the death of shitty murderous rich fuck Osama Bin Laden at the hands of America's elite fighting professionals, and at the direction of a brilliant strategist President. But in some gloomy, angry corners of the Interwebs, people like Conservative Gal were busy flailing for something, anything, to turn this historic tactical and military victory into a scandal for that colored guy they just hate so goddamn much:


Eh, wha? Barack Obama was editor - president, technically - of the Harvard Law Review. It's one of those facts about BO's life that I had thought even birthers and similarly irrational fucktards could surely agree. But alas, no.

So, just trying to be helpful, I tweeted the above link:



And what do I get for my trouble?



I don't know who that LuciusStone guy is, but he's in some very, very, very handsome company right now.

I just want us all to get along. Why can't these inbred racist fucks get that through their doughy, misshapen heads?