Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Tea Party secrets revealed!

So, you know how Allen West pitched a hissy at Debbie Wasserman-Schultz the other day? They are eating that shit up over at Tea Party Nation. And in the comments, I think I've discovered the Teabaggers' real hidden agenda:

[click to embiggen]

Okay, forget for a moment the disturbing notion that America must be cleansed of people whose opinions differ from your own. What these people hate, more than taxes, more than government interference with their Medicare benefits, more than liberalism itself, is SLIM POLITICIANS!


Well, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz does have a pretty tight little can, I'll give her that.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Allen West is angry!

Insane, stupid Allen West (R-Some Shithole) is very angry at his House colleague, Debbie Wasserman-Shultz.
After West had left the House floor to go polish his guns or daydream about some ideal society in which young boys are carted off to live in an aggressive, all-male environment, Debbie rose to explain what cruel nonsense the conservative Republican "Cut, Cap and Balance" plan actually is: The legislation "slashes Medicaid and critical investments essential to winning the future in favor of protecting tax breaks for Big Oil, millionaires, and companies who ship American jobs overseas."

West fired off an angry email when he heard about that, calling Wasserman-Schultz "the most vile, unprofessional and despicable member of the US House of Representatives." This behavior was not ladylike, West harumphed, and so Wasserman-Schultz "therefore, shall not be afforded due respect from me!"

So, the guy who told insane, bloodthirsty Teabagger supporters in the last election that he wanted his opponent "scared to come out of his house" is now indignant that a colleague... told the truth about legislation he supports?

I always knew West was crazy. I had no idea he was such a huge fucking crybaby to boot.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

FREE WILLIE!

Willie Nelson got busted last year with some herb on his tour bus. In any reasonable place on earth, the verdict should have been Not guilty by reason of HE IS WILLIE NELSON. But we're not talking about any reasonable place; we're talking about Texas.

And this asshole (above), Judge Becky Dean-Walker ("Judge Becky?" What the hell is this, some David E. Goddamn Kelley dramedy?), rejected a plea deal that would have come with a fine, and maybe a courtroom performance of "Blue Eyes Cryin' in the Rain." Now the red-headed stranger is looking at up to a year in the stony lonesome.

What, as they say, the fuck? Casey Anthony murders her kid - oh fuck you, she did it - and the bitch walks free. But Willie goes to the slam for a weed you can grow in your back yard? You know all that secession talk you've been throwing around, Texas? Do it. We'll airlift Willie and a few cool bars out of Austin, and you can have the rest of that dusty shithole to yourselves.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Oh, for Foxx sake

Lazy-eyed moonshiner Rep. Virginia Foxx (R-Hurr Durr) has an amendment to the House Defense Appropriations Bill. The amendment authorizes the Department of Defense to enforce the Defense of Marriage Act.

Which it already does. But see...
"It is not enough for the Department of Defense to dismiss all concerns about this and many other issues involving marriage status and benefits by pointing to the existence of the DOMA. There is no contingency “Plan B” to deal with this issue if federal courts invalidate that law."
That's right, faggots! Don't you go getting any fancy ideas about equal treatment under the law. So what if you can get married now up in Jew York City? You can risk your life for this country if you want to. But even when the divinely inspired Defense of Marriage Act - written by Jesus as told to Ronald Reagan after he freed the slaves with tax cuts - is ruled unconstitutional by the anti-Christian atheist Muslim Kenyan Obummer's liberal minions in the courts, your window-dresser husband ain't a-gittin' a nickel in partner benefits.