A friend writes...

"So the homos are an iceberg. And they ram into our ship — hard. And torrents of water will gush into the hole, and cover me I mean us in frothy, foamy … I'm sorry, I need to run to the bathroom."

Noted without comment

Okay, one comment: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

Really?

Does Sgt. Joel Thomson really believe the crazy shit he posts on his Facebook wall, or is he just looking for a quick ticket out of the Air Force?

I wouldn't blame him. That's dangerous work! And it's not like you can just suck a couple dicks for a quick dishonorable discharge anymore (thaaaaanks, Baraaaack).

But nah, he's probably not that smart. My money's on, he's just a racist idiot. Fuck him.

Brain teaser time!

Patrick Sullivan is a former Colorado sheriff, and a self-described "conservative Republican."

Can you guess what else he is?

(Hint: It rhymes with "shmoilethomo.")

Thoughts?

Heather Childers, from Fox News Channel's "straight news" division, recently tweeted an inquiry about possible criminal activity on the part of President Obama:

"Thoughts? Did Obama Campaign threaten Chelsea Clinton's life 2 keep parents silent?"

Fair enough. And we have a question of our own: Is Heather Childers a crack whore? We're not accusing anybody, mind you. It's a simple, yes-or-no question.

(The answer is yes.)

Noted without comment

Politico:

Perry came down the row of about twenty urinals and stood companionably close by.

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE

SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MISSHAPEN MOUTH ABOUT VACCINES, YOU ATTENTION-ADDICTED ANAL POLYP. YOU KNOW NOTHING AND YOU ARE NOTHING. GO PAW THE LATEST UNFORTUNATE VICTIM OF YOUR SERIAL MARRIAGE HABIT AND LEAVE THINKING PEOPLE THE FUCK ALONE.

I'm sorry. I'm in a shit mood and this disgraceful failure of a man has no business talking about medicine.

I'm not normally a betting man..

But what the hell, I've got to recoup some of my Mega Millions losses.

Anybody want to start a pool for when Barton gets popped in a public toilet, yukking on a big ol' weenie?